How to find a therapist

Hi guys! As you may know, I am a licensed therapist and hold an LCSW (Licensed clinical social worker). Something that a lot of people don't realize are the credentials their therapist may hold. Your therapist can be an LMHC (Licensed mental health counselor), LCSW (Licensed clinical social worker), LMFT (Licensed marriage and family therapist), and there are also psychologists and psychiatrists. These are just the commonly seen types, but there are more. It's always good to be informed about who you are seeing. But before I get ahead of myself, these are the important tips I have for you for finding a good therapist that fits YOUR individual needs.

• Find a therapist in network with your insurance or if you don't have insurance, a therapist that takes either self pay (if you can afford it) or has a sliding scale pay rate.

                Finding a therapist who takes your insurance is probably first and foremost what you should be looking for. You don't want to be paying an insane amount if your therapist is out of network with your insurance. You don't need to add a stressor that can be easily eliminated from your list. Some of the ways you can do this is by calling the number on the back of your insurance card and going through the correct steps in finding mental health services through your insurance. While this is convenient, you may end up calling facilities or inpatient hospitals that fall under that category but aren't actually one on one therapy sessions. So be careful of that and make sure the first question you ask is if they do one on one therapy sessions. Probably the better route, would be to look online at websites. There are specific websites where you can type in your city and insurance into a search bar and it will pull up therapists in your area that take your insurance.

Here are a list of websites to find a therapist in your area, in network with you.

Psychology Today - Enter in your city first, then it will pull up therapists in your area. There is more criteria at the top you can filter to find a therapist that accepts your specific insurance. If it's important to you, you can also specify gender, age, cost, and more.

Find a Therapist - This website also lets you type in your city first then you can filter for more specific criteria.

Good Therapy

If you don't have insurance, a sliding scale may be best. This goes based on your income. So if your income is low, the therapy sessions would also be lower than normal. There will be a form you will have to fill out for this. Self pay or therapists who don't take insurance are going to be the most expensive, so look out for that.

• Make sure your therapist specializes in your presenting problems or the area you need help in.

                Different therapists specialize in different areas. To find a therapist right for you, a good step is seeing what areas they treat in. For instance, if you are suffering from PTSD, make sure you find a therapist that specializes in that. I know it seems simple, but not everyone thinks of it. Just because they have the credentials and are licensed as a therapist doesn't mean they have expertise in the area you need to be helped in. If you're struggling with depression and anxiety it may be easier finding a therapist to work with because they all should be well-versed in this. But if you are specifically looking for help with substance use, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, childhood trauma, etc., it is definitely necessary to find a therapist that specializes in these areas. 

There are therapists who specifically treat certain populations like the LGBTQ+ population, which is important because you want to know that your therapist understands you, although all should be non-judgmental in their approach. Some others may mostly work with older adults, young children, teenagers, young adults, or middle aged adults. Remember, there are vast and diverse populations, specific mental health illnesses, stressors, hardships, or whatever else a client may be facing and it is nearly impossible for a therapist to have enough knowledge in all areas.

If it's important to you, then it's important to you! It's okay to be picky. You have to be vulnerable in front of this stranger so you should make sure they understand you, where you're coming from, and your mental health.

• What therapeutic approaches are they specialized in?

            This kind of goes hand in hand with finding a therapist that is specialized in your area of need. But there are certain therapeutic approaches that specifically help with certain problems. Let me give you some examples so you know what to look for.

If you struggle with substance abuse, it is important to find a therapist who provides Motivational Interviewing, Solution-Focused Therapy or DBT/CBT.

If you struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder, you should find a therapist who specializes in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy).

If you are struggling with depression and anxiety, a therapist who is familiar with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) would be beneficial. 

If you are struggling with PTSD, some therapeutic approaches would be EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Prolonged Exposure (PE), Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), Brief Eclectic Psychotherapy or CBT.

These are just some examples, but if you're able to do a little research into what therapeutic approaches would help you best, then it is worth knowing so you can find a therapist who also specializes in this.

A lot of the time, when you are searching for a therapist, it will tell you what treatments or approaches they are specialized in and they should go hand in hand in what areas of mental illness or stressors they provide.

• If you don't feel a connection with your therapist, find a new one!

            This is something that is so very common. Sometimes people will hold resentment towards therapy because they had a bad experience. It is very common for you to not have a connection with your therapist. If you've tried for months, and you aren't connected and don't feel like your therapist is helping you, it is totally okay to find a new therapist and terminate the client-therapist relationship. It should be more normalized! I mean think about it, you are sharing with this stranger some of the deepest most vulnerable parts of yourself that you may not even share with your family or friends. If you don't feel like your therapist is making you feel validated, being receptive, or being understanding of you, it is totally normal to find someone else. With that being said, the therapist bond also shouldn't feel like it's a friend that you're talking to. There of course needs to be a level of professionalism there so it is going to feel different. But there's a difference between not feeling like you're being validated or seen, and just not feeling like your therapist is having a "friendship" relationship with you; because that also shouldn't be happening. Sometimes it can take multiple tries before finding a therapist that's right for you, so don't let yourself get down about it, it's normal.

• Be aware of ethical boundaries and violations.

            While every therapist should be very knowledgeable in ethics, values, and boundaries of being a therapist, sometimes there are unethical happenings. It's important to know the red flags and be able to make sure your therapist is practicing ethically. Because this can damage the therapy you are receiving and make you take steps backwards in your mental health. 

The first session, the therapist should be talking about informed consent, the client-therapist relationship, and confidentiality. Self-disclosure can be a tricky subject. We, as therapists, are taught to only do this if you truly feel like it would help the client. If your therapist is self-disclosing a significant amount of personal information often, this should not be happening. If you have an uncomfortable gut feeling when your therapist seems to be crossing lines or boundaries, this may be a red flag. Also be aware, there is NEVER a time for a therapist to be friends or have romantic relations with a client. It doesn't matter if you have terminated the relationship, or even if you terminated the relationship 10 years ago, there should never be a relationship outside of the client-therapist dynamic. There is no amount of time that can go by, where you and your therapist could be friends or have relations. It is never allowed to happen. A therapist should always take a non-judgmental stance with the client. They should never judge you or act condescending on choices you've made or how you look, etc. They shouldn't be overwhelmed by information you give them or get frustrated with you. Naturally, we are all human, even therapists, but these are definitely some red flags. And to be blunt, there are just some therapists out there that probably should not have chosen that as their profession. It isn’t your fault.

• Is your therapist challenging you? Or really helping you to reframe some of your negative methods of thinking?

             If not, they may not be the therapist for you. You don’t need a therapist who is going to be constantly giving you homework but little things here and there are definitely helpful. Homework is a good thing. With that being said, it is ultimately YOU who chooses whether or not you want to be helped. The therapist is there to guide you and listen and give you validation. But it’s good for your therapist to also question you at times and make suggestions. A good therapist at times will even tell you things you may not want to hear but to ultimately change your frame of thinking. Remember, they are an unbiased person. That’s why therapy is so great. With friends, advice sometimes has too many emotions tied to it because you know someone on another type of level. The therapist-client relationship is not like that.

I hope I've helped in any way I can and I wish you luck on your mental health journey and wish you all well :)

- Sam Carosella, LCSW

Best things to do in Charleston, South Carolina!

 Best things to do in Charleston, South Carolina!

I cannot say enough good things about my most recent trip to Charleston, SC. Charleston is a charming town that is busting with history in the US and was founded in 1670. 

Some history: Although it's a beautiful city, it's important to also note the extensive role of slavery here; as it was one of the biggest areas of domestic slave trade. When we talk about this city, we can't forget it's more unpleasant history and I feel like visiting here, it's only morally right to understand the terrible truth of what this city once was, while we also are allowed to take in it's beauty. Originally called, Charles town, named after Charles II, it was known to be a busy seaport, where 200 ships a day would come in carrying and exporting goods. The British also invaded and occupied Charleston for 2 years during the Revolutionary War. (Little facts I learned at the Provost Dungeon museum that I'll mention later.)

With all that being said, this city with it's charming cobblestone streets, horse drawn carriages, antebellum mansions and semi-tropic climate is a must see. The food here is absolutely delectable; many of the destinations being featured on the food network. And I honestly can't say I had one bad or even average meal. Everything was delicious. This is actually one of my favorite US cities/towns I have visited, and it's a lot more progressive than I thought, which makes me happy. There is so much to do and see so I wanted to share it with all of you!

What to do in Charleston

Horse-drawn Carriage Tour (Palmetto Carriage Works)

There are multiple carriage tours, but this is the one we did and also the one I saw the most high rated reviews for and it did not disappoint. I highly recommend one of these tours to learn more about the history of Charleston and to see the downtown city in a very convenient way. Because Charleston is a pretty big city, there are, I believe, 4 options of areas where the carriage can take you. Our tour guide was very informative and funny, they also tell you how they take care of the horses in the beginning which is so nice to hear.

Charleston City Market

Another must-see, in my opinion, because I absolutely love markets. This is partly indoors with air conditioning which is a blessing when it's hot as heck outside. You can get some really unique souvenirs here or some hand crafted items. I got a really pretty sterling silver ring and a Charleston Christmas ornament (something I like to try to get when I go somewhere new).

Walk around the French Quarter and explore

The first two places I listed are both in the French Quarter but there is so much to explore here. Great shops (including more high-end stores, because Charleston is pretty boujee), food, attractions, and beautiful historical buildings. The architecture is amazing to see and many restaurants here have been featured on the food network, with no surprise because the food is prime.

Old Exchange and Provost Dungeon 

An important landmark in Charleston built in 1771, this is now a museum where you can learn about more of it's history and explore the Dungeon area (used as an old military prison) underneath. They have a talking tour in the Dungeon daily, every 30 minutes, which we did and it was very interesting. The admission fee for this museum is only $12 for adults. There are several floors where you can explore and read the history about this building in more detail. This building was also used as a post office, commercial exchange, a meeting place for Patriots (George Washington visited here and had lavish dinners and concerts), an area where auctions were held for slaves, and more - including where the US Constitution was debated and approved.

Magnolia Plantations & Gardens

An absolutely stunning plantation founded in 1676 by the Drayton family. There are multiple plantations you can visit around the Charleston area, but this is the one we choose and I would definitely recommend it. It had miles of gardens that were incredibly well kept. There were Magnolia trees everywhere, beautiful flowers, tranquil lakes with bridges and massive trees with sweeping moss - it's almost like I could imagine fairies living here. It's a $29 admission fee. We paid $10 extra for a tour of the historic house. Our tour guide was very informed and kept our interest as we entered through different old rooms of the house. They had a few other things to see including a 45 minute presentation called "The Slavery to Freedom Tour". They show you four cabins where slaves and their families lived on the plantation, an important part of it's history. There is also a gift shop here and an area with food. I got a delicious chicken salad sandwich and sweet tea. Oh! And I can't forget to mention the mini-horses, donkey, and peacocks that live here. Two peacocks were just chilling with us as we ate our sandwiches, looking for scraps. Just a really beautiful experience in general. We spent almost our whole day here so there's a lot to see. I would say we got there at 11am and stayed until about 3:30pm.

The Battery

If you're interested in seeing the massive, majestic antebellum mansions of Charleston then definitely take a stroll down "The Battery" area. It's about 2 miles and has a trail for those walking and biking next to the ocean.

Ghost Tours

They have many ghost tours around Charleston, so if you're into spooky things, this is something fun to do at nighttime. We did the "Bulldog Tours" which came highly rated and I definitely recommend. Our tour guide was great. There are multiple different walking tours to do - we did the graveyard tour. I have done one other ghost tour, which was in St Augustine, and I have to say I liked that one better, but this was still decent. It only takes you two different graveyards, where the other tour I did years ago went to a prison, hospital, graveyard, and somewhere else. If I were to choose again, I would try out the USS Yorktown ghost tour which takes place inside an old WWII aircraft carrier. (It looks super cool.)

Old Slave Mart Museum

I didn't have time to visit this but I heard many great things about the history provided and the details they give at this museum. I've heard it is very graphic as it does show the horrific abuse of African Americans living as slaves but I feel it needs to be graphic to get the point across because it's real events that happened. This is also only $8 admission.

Folly Beach

About a 20 min drive from downtown Charleston, this is a beautiful beach to see! It is very clean and well kept. The waves are bigger than what I'm used to on this side of the ocean, compared to my home area of Clearwater/St Pete beach, although the water isn't as clear. There is plenty of parking and the pier has food, shops and more. There are also more shops around the area. I did get some cute souvenirs here as well. 

Rainbow Row

Okay so this is probably the most "instagrammable" place there is to see here in Charleston and I have to say I was not very impressed. They were many more places in Charleston that were more beautiful. These homes/buildings stand out because of the multiple pastel colors that they are painted. But there are honestly buildings like this every turn you take in Charleston. Even the pictures I took here... didn't come out as good as I saw on Instagram! People must edit them because the lightning was not it, lol. If you have to skip this, it wouldn't be the end of the world. We did end up walking across the street from here near the water and walked along it near a dock, which was very pretty.

The Pineapple Fountain/Waterfront Park

Definitely a must-see. This park is absolutely beautiful. You can even take off your shoes and take a little dip into the fountain to cool off. It's really just deep enough to put your feet/calves into (unless you're a child, which I basically am because I needed to stick my feet in). Stroll around and take in the beauty of this park right on the water's edge. Fun fact: pineapples are popular in Charleston and represent hospitality.

Secret Alleyways in Charleston

There are many "secret" alleyways in Charleston that are known for having duels back in the day to settle arguments in a violent way with pistols .Philadelphia Alley and Price's Alley are a couple popular ones to look for. "Low county walking tours" have a special tour just for the secret alleys and passage ways of Charleston if you are interested.

Fort Sumter National Monument

Take a tour to Fort Sumter by boat and see where the first shots of the Civil War were fired! It's about a one hour visit were you can explore the ruins of the fort and learn it's history.

Historic Home Tours - (Nathaniel Russell house/Heyward Washington house/Aiken-Rhett house/Edmondston-Alston house)

There are multiple historic homes you can take tours of. The Nathaniel Russel house has a free-flying staircase and neoclassical dwellings that make this house unique. The Aiken-Rhett house was owned by someone so wealthy it encompasses almost an entire city block. It's $15 admission for one house tour, and $24 if you would like to tour both.

Walk around King Street

King Street is another popular area in downtown historic Charleston. It may be about 30 minute walk away from the French Quarter, depending on where you are at. Our airBNB was actually located a few blocks away from King Street, so we were able to walk to King Street without a problem, but had to take an uber to get to the French Quarter. King Street has incredible food and shopping. Just take some time to explore.

Places to eat

There are so many places to eat and drink here in Charleston, so I will only speak of the ones I have been to - which were all amazing.

Prohibition - 547 King St

Probably the best drinks I've ever had. I had a Spicy Blood Orange Margarita with red chili flakes and my friend had a Bacon-infused Old Fashioned. I ate their street corn as an appetizer and Shrimp and Grits with a curry sauce which were both phenomenal. 

Indaco - 526 King St

This modern, rustic Italian restaurant was recommended by multiple people and did not disappoint. Their pasta menu changes every so often and they have really unique dishes. I had to actually look up multiple types of pastas and dishes because I was unsure what they were (and I'm Italian so I should know). We got Focaccia bread as an appetizer and were told they make it fresh every day - you can definitely tell. I ate my entire bowl of pasta and I honestly never finish my plates, if that tells you how good it was.

Poogans Smokehouse - 188 E Bay St

An open and casual industrial restaurant that, of course, offers BBQ. Not much to say about this because I feel like you either like BBQ or you don't, but the BBQ was definitely superb. Any BBQ restaurant in Charleston would probably be good, this just happened to be the one we stopped at.

Get Oysters

So I don't have a specific place for this because we ended up not having time to stop off and get some, but if you like Oysters, Charleston is known for them and there are multiple places. Definitely check one out when you come here!

Carmella's Cafe and Dessert Bar - 198 E Bay St #100

This has been featured on the food network, travel channel and HGTV and their desserts are amazing! They have this small shareable cakes like cannoli cake, birthday cake, carrot cake and more. They also serve gelato, coffees/expressos/lattes, sorbet, sandwiches and even slices of Sicilian pizza. We actually stopped here late at night when we were hungry after our ghost tour and restaurants were starting to close down. If you want a cheap dinner, grab a couple slices of pizza here and dessert. It IS very busy here, at least the time we went which was probably around 10pm. It's a very popular place and for a good reason. It's not super big inside so try to have someone in your party snatch a table if you plan on sitting inside to eat.

Henry's on the Market Rooftop Bar and Jazz Club - 54 N Market St

This place was really cool. We only had a few drinks on the rooftop bar so I can't speak for the food, but the atmosphere was great. They had different rooms and floors, including an area with a jazz club. This place was poppin too later at night but I think they normally would have a table.

Holey City Bagels - 43 Cannon St

Hands down the best Lox bagel I've ever had - (not counting NYC/New Jersey). If you don't know what a Lox Bagel is, it's smoked salmon, capers, red onions and cream cheese on a bagel. I choose asiago cheese and it was the crispest, fluffiest, best tasting thing ever. I'm still thinking about it. They also have coffee here which is very good - although I just got an orange juice this day. If you're around King St for breakfast definitely hit this place up.

Toast All Day - 155 Meeting St

A cute breakfast/brunch restaurant we stopped inside one morning that had wonderful food - especially Southern breakfast. I had to get some biscuits and gravy. It was fairly cheap since it's breakfast and their orange juice is freshly squeezed. Highly recommend getting the orange juice!

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I definitely recommend getting "Southern Comfort food" here because it's what they are known for, as well as their seafood and BBQ.

A couple other places I've heard are amazing, but unfortunately did not have time to visit are: FIG, Magnolias, Frannie and the Fox, Hyman's Seafood, 167 Raw Oyster Bar, Le Farfalle, and Halls Chophouse.

That's all I have for you guys, I hope it helped if you were planning on going to Charleston or if you are now adding it on your list, you can use my post hopefully as a resource. Happy adventuring!

- Sam

What you can do to support women’s reproductive rights!

"Whenever one person stands up and says ' wait a minute, this is wrong' it helps other people to do the same." - Gloria Steinem

With the recent leak of the draft opinion that could overturn Roe v. Wade, things are getting scary for women. Recent articles have just come out that could possibly ban birth control, Plan B, and iuds in certain red states. If you are reading my blog and don't agree that this is completely insane and don't believe in a women's access to abortions and her fundamental right to her own body and autonomy, you can kindly stop reading. This is a war on women. If, like me, you are outraged that our country is going backwards and trying to deny these rights to women, here are some ways you can help fight for abortion access.

1.) Email or call your local state legislators. Advocate for access to abortions! I've created a link below you can use to see how to type out a professional email to send. To find out who your state legislators are, you can use this link. Some have their emails, others may not. After knowing their names it doesn't really take long to find a phone number or email you can use. Click HERE to find your state legislators now.

Sample email on what to say to your legislators!

2.) Support Planned Parenthood. Follow them on social media. Text ACCESS to 22422. You can also sign the #BansOffOurBodies petition online! These are easy, simple ways to do something. Remember, there is strength in numbers.

Sign the #BansOffOurBodies petition here!

"There is a power in numbers and there is a power in unity." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

3.) Speak out. Whether it's to friends, family or followers on social media, don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe is right. If you feel like this doesn't have a direct impact on you, think of your future daughters, the women who never want to have kids, vulnerable and poor populations and minorities, women in abusive relationships, women who are raped, and women who just don't want to have kids right now because babies are expensive or the timing isn't right and that's okay. By speaking out, you never know if it'll open someone's mind or help others to speak out. It's empowering and it can always make a difference.

4.) Share your story on Planned Parenthood. You don't have to have a specific story, you can just tell them how you stand with them, how it's affected you, why this issue is important to you or your experience with receiving reproductive care.

Share your story here.

Nearly 1 in 4 women seek abortion access in their lifetime. Abortion IS healthcare.

5.) Volunteer. You can join Planned Parenthood and they can give you information on how you can help. Do it on your own time, they'll provide you with the tools you need to help.

Volunteer with Planned Parenthood to support abortion access!

6.) Attend a rally or protest. There is one coming up around the U.S. on May 14th, this Saturday. If this date has already passed, make sure to still check out the site because I believe they will continue to have more rallies! Go to this website and type in your zipcode and sign up to join.

Bans Off Our Bodies rally on May 14th

7.) Buy T-shirts that are pro-abortion. If you can, find some that donate proceeds to abortion rights/Planned Parenthood. I found some that I've linked down here for you.

Save Roe shirt - donates proceeds

Protect Choice T-shirt - donates proceeds

Abortion Rights are Human Rights T-shirt - donates proceeds

Bans Off My Body uterus sticker - donates 100% for just 5 dollars

8.) Donate to the National Abortion Federation and choose your own amount.

Donate here!

Hope this has helped anyone who wants to support women's reproductive rights and fight for abortion access! 

- Sam Carosella, LCSW

Best Underrated Disney Hotel for the Value - Disney's Swan and Dolphin Hotel

Hello, everyone! Today I wanted to talk about one of my favorite things: Disney. It really just is. I've lived in Florida almost my whole life so I was used to growing up and driving an hour and a half twice a year to visit and stay at Disney World. As I've gotten older, it's just a place that gives me so many happy memories. Even though I don't yet have children of my own, I absolutely love visiting with my boyfriend and friends. I recently stayed in December with my mom for a night at Disney's Swan and Dolphin and I figured I need to let everyone in on this amazing hotel. This is definitely my go-to Disney World hotel.

I feel it's often overlooked because it actually isn't owned by Disney but operated by Marriot. (And yes, you can get Marriot points here.) It is located on Disney's property and the location of this hotel is one of the greatest aspects! It's called the "Swan and Dolphin" because they are actually two separate hotels that face each other but share amenities; like the pool, and you can go back and forth between hotels to use their different restaurants and other amenities. But let me just get right into it!

Best Things about Disney's Swan and Dolphin Hotel

The Value

Having stayed at multiple different Disney resorts over the years, ranging from the value, moderate and deluxe hotels, I have to say the Disney's Swan and Dolphin has the best value for what you get. Currently, the prices for this hotel range between high 100s to high 300s depending on what time of year it is. I went in December last year, which was much more expensive compared to when I went in early May with my boyfriend. In May the pricing was about $170 per night, which is amazing considering all of the factors this hotel has. If the time of year or even a specific week isn't a concern to you, definitely check out prices during different times to see when you can stay for the cheapest price. This is personally what I try to do. I'll get into it more, but it honestly feels like a luxury hotel. The amenities are top-notch, the location is prime, and so much more.

If you're looking for the cheapest Disney hotel and that's all you care about, I would stay at one of the "Value" hotels. I've stayed there once, but didn't love it. You definitely aren't going to get a relaxing, luxury feel. Aka, screaming kids everywhere. These hotels attract larger families and people with kids; they are loud. To me, without having kids, this is just not it for me.

A downside you may have, if you have kids or if you just want that extra "Disney" feel, is because this isn't operated by Disney, there aren't many Disney quirks about this hotel. There are "hidden Mickeys" in the carpet or wallpaper, but besides that you aren't going to have a statue of Mickey or Minnie or any other characters everywhere you turn. They do, however, have character dining, if you have kids that want to see Goofy or Mickey or any of the other characters. But after just checking their website, it looks like this has been temporarily suspended for some reason. Covid, maybe? Not too sure.

The Location/Transportation

The location of this hotel is simply perfect. Not only do you get free Disney bus transport to the parks that is located outside of your hotel, you also get free Disney boats that take you to either Epcot or Hollywood Studios. They run about every 15 minutes. These boats are only used by the surrounding Disney Deluxe resorts that include; Disney's Yacht and Beach Club resort and Disney's Boardwalk resort. You even have your own special entrance into Epcot. It doesn't drop you off at the globe, but instead drops you off between London and France with a side entrance to the park. Super exclusive.

If you are headed to Epcot and choose to forgo the boats, you can actually take a scenic walk to Epcot using the boardwalk that connects to all four of these resorts. It's not a very long walk. I would say maybe 15-20 minutes? Last time when I went with my mom in December, we choose to walk to Epcot because the weather was absolutely beautiful. We were able to view the Yacht and Beach club resorts from our walk and take in all the beautiful Disney magic along the way. It is just so well-kept and their man-made beaches make you feel like you're on an island. It's very pretty during the sunset/sunrise as well. You won't be able to walk to Hollywood Studios because it's too far, but you can still take the boat.

About to board our boat to Hollywood Studios with the majestic resort behind us.

Such a scenic walk to and from Epcot from the hotel. This was leaving Epcot, during the sunset near Disney's Yacht and Beach Club resort. You can see the Boardwalk promenade with it's shopping areas/restaurants in the distance.

Because of it's location, you have assess to some other amenities at the other resorts, which are all  considered "deluxe" resorts. If you want a new experience, stroll down Disney's Boardwalk promenade and take in it's vintage, "Coney-island" style vibes. You can enjoy some dining experiences, shopping, and a cute bakery. There is even "nightlife" here. At the "Disney's Boardwalk Atlantic Dance Hall", you can experience a 1940s nightclub vibe and have a few drinks. They do play modern music. But it's pretty cool and not very well-known. There are also a few other bars in the area. If you're wanting to go out drinking one night, it's a great place to go because you can walk or take the boat back to your hotel. Keep in mind, the boats do stop running at 9:30pm.

Our walk to Epcot in the morning. How pretty is this?

The Atmosphere

This hotel is absolutely stunning. Honestly. It's up to you which hotel you want to stay at, either the Swan or Dolphin (I usually just pick the cheapest at that time to be honest) but both are equally beautiful. The Dolphin hotel has crystals hanging down above a majestic water fountain in the middle of the lobby, when you enter. Behind this is a large full bar and there are seating areas and table located all around the lobby. Everything is pretty exquisite.

The lobby of the Dolphin Resort.

Amenities

The pool and beach area is my absolute favorite amenity. There are six unique pools here. There's a pretty decent sized pool that is near the outdoor bar that may be more relaxing for you if you don't have kids. There is also a crystal blue lap pool if you're wanting to get in some exercise. The larger sized pool has a slide, waterfalls, and hot tubs/whirlpools located on top of the rocks. When you grab some lounge chairs, you will see a number that is on each of your chairs. You can use their app to order and pay from where you're seating, either food or beverages and servers will bring you your food and drinks while you get to sit back and relax. If you want to go up and order, you can do that as well. They have a full bar, food, and plenty of seating. Of course free towels are available up at the stand and you can rent extra pool equipment if you'd like to.

The beach area is an absolute treat. Although please do not go in the water, for the love of God, as there are definitely alligators in there because this is Florida. They do have signs saying to not go into the water and beware of alligators. But you can still definitely enjoy dipping your toes in the sand and laying on some lounge chairs or a hammock on their man-made beach which is located right next to the pool area. They have volleyball courts on the sand and a beachside playground for kids. They have other games such as a giant chess board, pool and ping pong tables. The water, sand and palm trees make it feel like an absolute oasis on a cloudless blue day.

Something cool people don't know about, is you can actually rent a swan shaped paddle boat for free! I have yet to do it since I've visited here, but it's a cute idea if you have extra time.

There are more things for you to rent along the boardwalk that connects all four hotels! One of my very favorite memories as a kid was when my parents and I rented a 4 person surrey bicycle and got stuck on a upwards hill around the resort area. (Sounds like it wasn't a good experience but we were laughing so hard.) If you have extra time, this is a fun activity to do, but it is an additional cost.

Dining

There are tons of dining experiences here that you won't want to miss. In the morning, if you're on the way to a park and you want a quick bite to eat, there's a cute little café in the Dolphin resort called "Fuel" (where you will definitely want to be fueled up before the parks) where you can grab snacks, coffee, tea, or a bite to eat. For breakfast, I got some coffee and a sausage and egg croissant. (They do have mickey waffles here too). Be aware that the line for the café DOES get very long very fast. So prepare a few extra minutes to be waiting in line. In the Swan resort they also have a quick little place like this you can grab food at, called "Java Bar". If you have more time, they do have a buffet breakfast, which is more pricey but delicious.

As far as lunch and dinner go, there are many restaurants to choose from and remember, you can walk between the hotels for more options! The Swan resort has one of my absolute favorites, which is an Italian restaurant called "Il Mulino". If you are craving Italian food, I promise you will not regret going here. It's honestly one of the best Italian meals I have ever had. (Also, a little tip, they decorate for Christmas beautifully in these hotels, and I know the past year they had a large real gingerbread house that is pretty cool to view, outside of this restaurant.)

Let me know if you end up checking it out! Have a wonderful day,

- Sam

Self-care Daily Checklist

 Hello everyone! I hope you all are having a wonderful day. It’s important to check in with ourselves and our bodies every now and then. Most of us are just in “go go go” mode that we forget to do that. Or some of us may be feeling down, with a lot on our minds, and don’t have the energy to do these things. I created a “Self-care Daily Checklist” of things you can do when you feel like you may need a little extra recharge. It’s pretty unrealistic to think that people would have time to do this checklist every day, although you may have pressures from social media, friends, or whoever/whatever else, to try to strive to be your best self and be motivated every single day…. But it’s just not really gonna happen.

This checklist is meant to remind yourself that it is important to check in on yourself and your body every once in a while. These things may seem little and even trivial but if you’re doing and asking yourself these things… you’re doing amazing! 

I try to remind myself that it’s important to move my body — even if it’s 10 mins of yoga in the morning. It’s important to eat healthy every once in a while — even if it’s some broccoli I had for dinner. Most important of all, do some nice things for yourself! You want to buy that iced coffee before work? If it makes you feel better getting through your day, just do it. We put too much stress on ourselves sometimes; we have to treat ourselves with kindness, as much as we do for others.

Have a great day!

- Sam Carosella, LCSW

Recognizing limited thinking

 When we are in a situation that may be uncomfortable to us, new, scary, or just different, sometimes we think in negative or unhealthy ways. As previously mentioned in one of my other blog posts, as humans, we have automatic thoughts. We usually don't even notice when they happen because they are, well, automatic. And sometimes, automatic thoughts can be toxic or just negative. A difficult situation occurs, like maybe our car won't start and our first thought is "Oh no, this is TERRIBLE." Then it starts spiraling to other thoughts like, "Now I'm going to be late for work" and "My boss won't understand" and "This is going to cost me a fortune" and so on and so on. This happens to all of us of course, but maybe it happens more than it should. It could be happening so often, where we need to take a moment to rationalize, stop and think, and say "Okay, hold up. This is out of my control and I'm just going to do the best I can and deal with it". It's hard to take a step back from the situation in front of you and just.. breathe. 

There are all types of different "limited thinking". Limited thinking is basically just different thinking patterns that come with your "automatic thoughts". I thought it might be helpful to write them out for you so you can better understand how you react to different situations. Maybe there's a pattern of thinking you use very often; more than any other kind of pattern, although all of them are very common. Once you recognize a certain pattern of limited thinking, this is the first step to being able to change these patterns. This is what CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is all about; understanding how you think and changing your negative thought patterns. 

But remember, it's perfectly normal to have these types of thinking patterns because we are all human. If you are having excessive limited thinking patterns like these, this is just a good and informational way to analyze them and rationalize to yourself why you think certain ways and maybe work on changing them.

Types of Limited Thinking Patterns:

- Filtering: Seeing only one element in a situation. You may only see the bad and not the good, or you may just not see any positives.

- Polarized thinking: "Black and white" thinking. An example being; people are either all good or all bad. Another example would be; if you aren't making at least 100k a year, you're a complete failure. (Which of course isn't true.)

- Overgeneralization: Making broad conclusions on a piece of evidence you have or due to a single incident. This type of thinking usually uses words like "always", "never", "no one", "all", "every", etc. Probably a common example some people (and by people I mean women) is "All men are bad. There aren't any good men." Another common example would be applying global labels to people by saying things like, "Every liberal is stupid." Overgeneralizations are common, but they can also be quite toxic.

- Catastrophizing: Your imagination gets the best of you and you think of the worst possible situation. This thinking patterns uses a lot of "What ifs". For example; "What if I break my leg skiing on vacation?" or "What if I never finish my goal?"

- Shoulds: This revolves around having an excessive number of "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts". This is a pattern of thinking that I've heard being talked about a lot recently. I've heard of people referring to it as "Should-ing" on yourself. Kinda funny, but it makes sense. I believe a psychologist came up with this term, but I don't know for sure or else I would give credit. Either way, I didn't come up with the saying. But basically it sounds something like; "I should be more productive". or "I shouldn't have wasted my money on that". 

- Mindreading: Assuming one conclusion to a situation is obviously correct and the only one, based on a hunch, intuition or past experience. An example of this would be thinking that your significant other is cheating on you because he hasn't answered your text messages or calls for longer than usual.

- Magnifying: Emphasizing things out of proportion. A minor setback could seem like a huge failure. Words like "impossible" and "overwhelming" are often used.

- Personalization: You feel that the things people say or do is some type of reaction to you; you take it personally. During this type of pattern, you are constantly comparing yourself to others. Who is smarter, or prettier, or more successful, etc. 

So, is there a certain pattern of thinking you tend to have more often that others? Is there a certain thought or phrase you say to yourself often that comes to mind when reading these thinking patterns? There is absolutely nothing wrong with identifying with any of these. I would say basically everyone can, but honestly, EVERYONE can. At some point, we have all experienced one of these.

If you'd like to fill out a sheet to help identify your thinking patterns, I've created one here for you to use. You can print it out if you like or just write down the prompts on your own sheet of paper.

Have a wonderful day! 

- Sam Carosella, LCSW

Blowing Rock and Banner Elk trip guide

 Blowing Rock and Banner Elk trip guide!

This has become one of my favorite destinations for a fun and cozy trip in the mountains. It includes; Blowing Rock, Banner Elk, and Boone. All three locations are within about 30 minutes of each other. I've been up there twice now, just having come back a few weeks ago my second time, and there is SO much to do so I decided to create a blog post about it. There's fun for you, your partner, your friends, your dog, or your whole family.

Blowing Rock

Visit Downtown Blowing Rock

This is just the cutest, quaintest little town located right in the mountains. There are many boutique shops, antique stores, cafes, taverns, a brewing company, a wine bar, and more.

Where to stop:
- Sunset & Vine Wine Bar
- Blowing Rock Brewing
- Town Tavern Blowing Rock (we got french onion soup here and it hit the spot!)

The Blowing Rock trail

This is an absolutely beautiful trail/overlook where you can get AMAZING views (and pictures) of the Blue Ridge Mountains. There is also an ancient legend surrounding the 3,000 foot cliff. Highly recommend this. It may only take you about an hour or so as the trail is pretty short but the views are phenomenal. 

Moses H. Cone Memorial Park

A large park filled with hiking, horse trails and two large lakes. Walk around on a sunny, chilly day and just take in the beauty.

Linville Gorge and Falls

A great hiking trail if you want to add about 20 min from Blowing Rock with waterfalls and beautiful scenery.

Banner elk

Grandfather Mountain 

Experience hiking with spectacular views, a mile-high swinging bridge, and wildlife habitats. The swinging bridge is definitely something you'll have to see. Keep in mind, you will need to make an online reservation for this. Each guest that enters the park will need a ticket.

Grandfather Vineyard and Winery

They don't do any tours here, but the wine is great and the views are gorgeous! There's a river that flows right next to the winery and there is plenty of seating. They also serve some cheeses and other foods. It's honestly the cutest place and was very well worth it.

Wilderness Run Alpine Coaster

This was so much fun! And it is fairly new. You will also need to reserve tickets online for a registered time but once you get there you pay for them. It is pretty pricey for what it is, to be honest. You can get a bundle of 3 rides for $35 or one ride for $16. I recommend doing 3 rides and just spending extra because the ride itself, as fun as it was, was a lot shorter than I anticipated. They say the ride is about 5-7 minutes... maybe about 5 I would say. It takes maybe 2-3 going up and then about 2-3 going down. They have a souvenir shop and coffee shop inside as well. Parking gets taken up quickly so get a ticket for the morning!

Beech Mountain Resort / Sugar Mountain / Appalachian Ski Mountain

All three of these places are nearby and great for skiing or snowboarding. I originally had planned on going to Sugar Mountain but when we stayed at an AirBNB our first time, the owners suggested Appalachian Ski was better and I loved it! It's great for beginners too because they have a nice long (but not super steep) beginners mountain on the side. I've been elsewhere and the beginners mountain at another place was so tiny, cramped and you couldn't even practice without running into someone. But I've heard good things about the other two mountains too! Sugar mountain also does snow tubing, where Appalachian Ski does not.

Apple Hill Farm

Cutest little farm in Banner Elk. You go on a tour to see all of their farm animals including Alpacas, llamas, goats, chickens, and more. This was honestly such a cute experience. We got lunch in Banner Elk after our visit at this this next destination....

Banner Elk Cafe and Lodge Expresso Bar and Eatery

Stop by for some great food and cozy cabin vibes. You'll definitely need to grab a latte or hot cocoa.

Beech Mountain Brewing Co.

Located on a ski resort but open to the public, this is a great place to visit if you like craft beer, local beer. or just beer in general!

Jerky Outpost

They have their own local jerky as well as others; if you like beef jerky you need to check this place out. They give some samples too!

Downtown Boone

This is another adorable mountain town that is also home to Appalachian State University. This is about 15-20 min away from Banner Elk. They have antique stores, boutiques, a crystal store, ice cream, other quaint little stores, and restaurants. 

Where to stop:
- Lost Province Brewing Co (we got an amazing charcuterie board here and some wings, highly recommend!)
- Mast General Store
- Melanie's Food Fantasy (breakfast)

Changing Negative Thinking - CBT worksheet

    Hello, friends! While working for my clinical social work licensure, I have felt inspired recently to talk about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in a simple, easy to learn way that I feel everyone can benefit from.

This is just a basic breakdown of CBT and how you can use some strategies at home and practice on changing your negative thoughts to more positive ones. While this is a simple technique you can do on your own, for the best results, consult a therapist or counselor if you feel like this would really help you overcome and regulate symptoms of anxiety, self-esteem, depression, and other illnesses. 

Now, this isn't to say that you will feel completely relieved of symptoms after practicing this CBT technique, but it is a good way to understand your patterns of thinking and work on changing them.

CBT focuses on your current train of thought. Chances are, most of us have experienced some type of hardship or trauma as a child or young adult. And although we may react in ways due to how we were conditioned or raised, it is important to know that we are constantly learning, and we can unlearn and change the way we think.

It has been evidenced that when an uncomfortable or unpleasant situation occurs, an immediate thought is followed, BEFORE a negative feeling.

This is important because most don't realize that when something negative happens, it is the thought that comes first and not the feeling.

      For example; you are in line for a theme park ride and almost to the very front. You can see people entering and exiting the roller-coaster and you are so, so close to getting on, but then someone cuts in front of you. What comes first? The feeling of anger/annoyance? Or a thought such as "Are you kidding me?!” Most assume it must be the feeling, but it's not. Because of your automatic thought, you are now angry and frustrated. But if we can control the thought to be something more like "Okay I don't know the whole situation, maybe they are with someone else and had stepped out to use the bathroom" or "Before I get angry, I'll just politely confront them", rather than exploding with anger or being completely frustrated. We don't have to let our feelings control us. This is something that I personally can work on, as I'm sure most of us can. 

You can change how you feel by changing your thoughts. Thoughts control feelings.
CBT uses the ABC model. It stands for:

A: Activating event
B: Belief or thought
C: Consequence or feeling

By doing this exercise; it helps us uncover our automatic thoughts. Now of course, it would be unrealistic to think that this exercise will pop into your head as a real event is occurring, because most of the time we act on impulse and we act in the ways we know how to simply act. But this can help you, over time, change your automatic thoughts.

I've left a worksheet at the bottom here for you to save and work on. Make as many copies as you want! And remember; feel empowered that you are the master of all of your emotions. No one ever has the right to make you feel less than who you are.

~ Sam