Changing Negative Thinking - CBT worksheet

    Hello, friends! While working for my clinical social work licensure, I have felt inspired recently to talk about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in a simple, easy to learn way that I feel everyone can benefit from.

This is just a basic breakdown of CBT and how you can use some strategies at home and practice on changing your negative thoughts to more positive ones. While this is a simple technique you can do on your own, for the best results, consult a therapist or counselor if you feel like this would really help you overcome and regulate symptoms of anxiety, self-esteem, depression, and other illnesses. 

Now, this isn't to say that you will feel completely relieved of symptoms after practicing this CBT technique, but it is a good way to understand your patterns of thinking and work on changing them.

CBT focuses on your current train of thought. Chances are, most of us have experienced some type of hardship or trauma as a child or young adult. And although we may react in ways due to how we were conditioned or raised, it is important to know that we are constantly learning, and we can unlearn and change the way we think.

It has been evidenced that when an uncomfortable or unpleasant situation occurs, an immediate thought is followed, BEFORE a negative feeling.

This is important because most don't realize that when something negative happens, it is the thought that comes first and not the feeling.

      For example; you are in line for a theme park ride and almost to the very front. You can see people entering and exiting the roller-coaster and you are so, so close to getting on, but then someone cuts in front of you. What comes first? The feeling of anger/annoyance? Or a thought such as "Are you kidding me?!” Most assume it must be the feeling, but it's not. Because of your automatic thought, you are now angry and frustrated. But if we can control the thought to be something more like "Okay I don't know the whole situation, maybe they are with someone else and had stepped out to use the bathroom" or "Before I get angry, I'll just politely confront them", rather than exploding with anger or being completely frustrated. We don't have to let our feelings control us. This is something that I personally can work on, as I'm sure most of us can. 

You can change how you feel by changing your thoughts. Thoughts control feelings.
CBT uses the ABC model. It stands for:

A: Activating event
B: Belief or thought
C: Consequence or feeling

By doing this exercise; it helps us uncover our automatic thoughts. Now of course, it would be unrealistic to think that this exercise will pop into your head as a real event is occurring, because most of the time we act on impulse and we act in the ways we know how to simply act. But this can help you, over time, change your automatic thoughts.

I've left a worksheet at the bottom here for you to save and work on. Make as many copies as you want! And remember; feel empowered that you are the master of all of your emotions. No one ever has the right to make you feel less than who you are.

~ Sam

Things to do to ease stress and anxiety while stuck at home

"The nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string." - L.M. Montgomery, Author

Hello, hello everyone! I hope all of you are doing well as you're reading this and remembering to find the little things in life to make you happy.
Amid this world wide pandemic, I've been thinking about how all of us right now are in this odd state of being mutually connected by being stressed out and anxious; not knowing when this is all going to end. Some of us may even be sinking into a depression because you may have lost your job, don't have a source of income, or maybe are just feeling lonely if you're living by yourself.
I wanted to create this blog post as a means of hope and to inspire you to stay motivated and to not give up. Maybe even take this as an opportunity, however unfortunate it is, and make something out of it, take this period of your lives to catch up on things you haven't had the time for. And remember the little things that we might take for granted every day.

Your children's laugh, your dog waking you up with wet kisses in the morning, putting a candle on after you clean your house, the sound of coffee brewing in your kitchen, the smell of apple pie baking in your oven, and listening to the rain patter on your window as you're reading your favorite book in the dim light.

Here are my list of things you can do stuck at home and remember; stay safe!

• Practice self care. If you feel like you never have time for yourself, now is the perfect time to take advantage of this! Put on some face masks, paint your nails, play around with that eye shadow palette you've never used, take a bath with some lit candles and your favorite book, and maybe just take some cute selfies at home. Order some face masks online. You could even sign up for a monthly package of skin care. Sephora has a great monthly beauty subscription box.

• Start eating healthier or just spend more time cooking and baking. I think a lot of people have trouble eating healthier just because they don't have time to make home made meals due to a busy schedule. Make a delicious stew or spend time slow-cooking a meal. Meal prepping is always a good idea. Find some delicious new recipes on Pinterest you've always wanted to try.

• Spring clean your home or re-decorate your bedroom.  There definitely has to be something in your home you have been putting off cleaning. Don't forget to dust! (Think of places you normally don't clean: ceiling fans, the top of your fridge, the inside of your microwave, ). Maybe even re-decorate your bedroom. Add some twinkly lights or add a plant in a spare corner, maybe even a salt lamp somewhere. Hang up a shelf and arrange your favorite books on it with cute bookends. If you don't want to spend money right now, maybe change the position of your furniture. You could move your bed to your window for a change.

• Create a list of things you want to add to your bedroom, living room, or your entire home to make it more cozy or to just to make it into your dream home! However long it takes, check them off as they get completed.

• Find a good show to binge watch. Spend some time out of your day looking through Netflix, Amazon, Hulu or whatever else you have and compile a list of shows that you've  been meaning to watch or that sound really good. Also don't forget good documentaries!

• Exercise at home. There are tons of free YouTube videos you can use online for at-home work outs from working out your abs and booty to practicing yoga. If you're looking for quick and efficient at-home exercises for your body my favorite youtuber currently is Chloe Ting. And for yoga, Yoga with Adriene is amazing. It'll make you not only feel better about yourself but if you're consistent with it, you'll see results!
• Click on their names and it'll take you to their youtube accounts!
• Chloe Ting
• Yoga with Adriene

• Take up a new hobby or revisit an old hobby.  If you used to love painting, drawing, or maybe reading, but you haven't in a while... now is your chance! 

• Learn another language. Okay, so this would obviously take a lot of time, but if you need something to do, I feel like learning another language is probably on everyone's bucket list. I know it's on mine. There are tons of apps and different ways you can begin learning a lanuge on your own. The app Duolingo is amazing and I have bought "Living Language" off of amazon that includes CDs, workbooks, and more to learn on your own. They have a great variety of languages.

• Spend a day just searching for new music. And find a new podcast!
• Because who doesn't love finding new music to listen to? I use spotify which is great to create playlists and search for new music that is similar to what you already listen to. Podcasts are a great way to break up just listening to music, especially if you're on a long commute to work or a road trip.
• Some of my favorite podcasts:
• What we said - lifestyle, mostly episodes where listeners can send in their stories like; most embarrassing moments, worst tinder dates, etc.
• The Morning Toas - fun and mostly about pop culture
• Crime Junkie - my favorite prime podcast
• Sword and Scale - another crime podcast
• Girls Gotta Eat - entertaining but mostly about dating/sex
• Pretty Basic - Life Style and pop culture
• Chatty Broads - mostly Bachelor recaps
• Yoga Girl Daily - super short but cute to listen to before a yoga workout
• Any guided meditation 

• Get creative! This can be literally anything. Spend some time doing arts and crafts, home DIY projects, drawing in a sketchbook, painting, baking, photography, tie-dying shirts, cooking new meals, journaling, playing music, or keeping a daily journal; whether it's a gratitude journal or maybe if you're religious, you can keep a devotion book.

• Plan goals, create to-do lists, and break up big tasks into smaller ones. Goal planning can always be done at any time, but what better time to do so than now? Where do you want to be in a year? Five years? Ten years? Creating to-lists helps me feel more organized and reduces stress. Also, if you have a huge daunting task you've been dreading, why not break it into smaller steps?

• Plan a dream trip to take once all of this is over. I think everyone is in need of a vacation once this pandemic is over. Where do you want to go? Spend your day planning and researching some of your bucket-list destinations and decide which one you would like to take next. Write down your budget and plan your days out in a journal. Of course if you just like to pick a spot and wing it, that's a different story, but I'm definitely a planner. This is for sure one of my favorite things to do. Check out trip advisor or even "travel vloggers" who have gone to your dream spot to score some ideas on where to go once you're there.

• Stay productive. Update your resume. Delete pictures on your phone to create more storage. De-clutter your email box. Organize your closets or any storage space.

That's all I have for now, thanks for reading guys! Have a wonderful weekend :)